A Gaming Journal

Metroid: Other M Script

CAST OF CHARACTERS

INT. SPACE PIRATE HEADQUARTERS, PLANET ZEBES - DREAM

SAMUS ARAN, bad-ass bounty hunter, is fighting alongside a BABY METROID against the evil MOTHER BRAIN, recreating the end of a past Metroid game to prove the new developers at least read the Wikipedia article on it.

SAMUS
BABY!!

The BABY METROID sacrifices itself to a massive laser beam seemingly for no reason, since SAMUS has to kill MOTHER BRAIN just the same as if the BABY had hung out in a corner somewhere.

SAMUS
BABY!!

INT. GALACTIC FEDERATION HEADQUARTERS TRAINING ROOM

SAMUS awakens from the flashback in her Zero Suit, and proceeds to mope around whining about the goddamned BABY METROID in a weird and creepy way.  We see a lot of camera angles that prove this is a TEAM NINJA game as she proceeds to deliver her mission report about destroying all the METROIDS in the universe.  She then flies off in her helmet-shaped spaceship.

EXT. SPACE

SAMUS
BABY!!

While SAMUS is considering molding a cake to look like a Metroid and adopting it as her daughter, she receives a distress call, which she names BABY'S CRY because she has a serious mental sickness.  She finds the source of the signal, the BOTTLE SHIP, and lands in it to investigate.

INT. BOTTLE SHIP DOCKING AREA

Exploring inside, SAMUS encounters a platoon of GALACTIC FEDERATION TROOPERS: ADAM, the leader and SAMUS' former commanding officer when she was in the army, ANTHONY, token black guy, and a few others no one cares about.

ADAM
YOU.  What are you doing here?  I'm still pissed at you for events we'll go over soon in a lengthy flashback.  Before that, I need to focus on opening this not-really-secured locked door with a huge pack of C4.

The SOLDIERS rig the door with the explosive and set it off, which causes no damage.

ADAM
Damnit!  If only we had a controlled explosion, which is not at all what this packaged C4 is supposed to do.

SAMUS breaks the first rule of womanhood established in this game, and fires a missile at the door without asking ADAM's permission.  The door unlocks, and ADAM is not impressed.

ADAM
DID I TELL YOU YOU COULD DO THAT?!

SAMUS
...sorry.  I won't ever do it again.

ADAM
That's right.  You won't do ANYTHING at all until I say you can, do you understand?  Even though you're an independent bad-ass bounty hunter, I expect you to obey me without question.

SAMUS
Yes, Daddy-poo.

ADAM
I told you not to call me that in public.  Now go make me a sandwich while the men do the real work, despite the fact we couldn't even open a door.

SAMUS
Can I come along?!

ADAM
Whatever.

SAMUS
ADAM!!

SAMUS abandons all pretense of being a strong-willed independent person and agrees to not wipe her ass without asking permission from ADAM first.  She follows the TROOPS inside the lab like a well-trained lapdog.

INT. LABORATORY

Inside, the TROOPS and SAMUS get attacked by a swarm of giant bugs.  Everyone gets beaten to a pulp, and SAMUS runs around doing absolutely nothing, despite being armed to the teeth with fifty kinds of firearms.

ADAM
Hmmmm.  Okay, Samus...I guess you can use basic missiles, since we appear to be almost dead.  BUT THAT'S IT, DO YOU HEAR ME?!

SAMUS
ADAM!!

SAMUS unleashes her missiles and blows everything away.

ADAM
Okay...you can be part of our little group now, since you kind of saved our butts and everything.  But I'm still waiting on that sandwich.  Oh by the way, I rigged it so I can see everything you're looking at through your visor.  Try not to let it creep you out too much.  I may have also put a camera inside your Zero Suit.

FLASHBACK: SAMUS is shown in her younger days of being in the army, commanded by ADAM.  He finishes up a briefing, which all the soldiers affirm with an elementary-school THUMBS UP.  SAMUS, rebellious to the core, repeatedly gives a THUMBS DOWN, paving the way for her isolationism and hardcore uncontrollable spirit.

INT. BOTTLE SHIP CORRIDOR

SAMUS is sent to turn on the main power, which she does without question.  Along the way, she encounters an adorable white puffball who looks far too cute to be safe.

PUFFBALL
Meep!

SAMUS
Sorry, Adam hasn't authorized me to speak.   Oh shit I just did anyway...oh god and I'm doing it more...and again, oh no...

The PUFFBALL rolls its eyes and wobbles off disgustedly.  SAMUS continues on and turns on the power, then is sent to go somewhere else by ADAM, who is kicking back in the COMMAND CENTER sipping a BEER.

INT. EXAM CENTER

SAMUS meets up with the other soldiers in the EXAM CENTER, where they hack a computer to find out the GALACTIC FEDERATION is experimenting with BIOWEAPONS, which is against the law.  Everyone seems shocked that a large government would ever do anything illegal.  They also find out the research is headed by a woman named MADELINE BERGMAN.  Before they can get any further, they are attacked by cybernetic monsters.

ADAM
(over radio)
Everyone get out of there, those things are too strong!  Except you, Samus, you should fight them...but don't use any new weapons, ok?

SAMUS
ADAM!!

Everyone runs, and SAMUS defeats the monsters.  She then looks out a window into a FOREST ECOSPHERE, where the evacuated team is being attacked by a GIANT LIZARD.  She goes to help and is jumped by the LIZARD, who pins her to the ground.

ADAM
Hmm...should I tell her to use a better weapon....no, no.  Better armor maybe ?  Nah... I think I'll just let this one go and see what happens.

Just as SAMUS is about to be eaten, ANTHONY shoots the monster with a giant plasma cannon, exempt from needing ADAM's authorization because he has a penis.  The wounded creature retreats.

SAMUS looks around and notices the grisly empty shell of the cute PUFFBALL behind a truck, seemingly having grown and evolved, certainly not into that weird lizard thing that just attacked.

ADAM
(over radio)
Okay, Samus....I want you to go after that lizard, while the rest of us...uhh...survey the situation.

INT. SECTOR 3, FIRE-Y LAVA AREA...WAIT, WEREN'T WE ON A SPACESHIP?

SAMUS fights her way through lots of fire monsters, her regular weapon proving pretty ineffective.  She eventually enters a closed-off room where she is jumped by hives of fire bees and lava monsters.  After getting knocked around and almost dying, ADAM finally cuts in.

ADAM
(over radio)
Oh Jesus Christ, fine.  I guess you can use your ice beam now.  BUT JUST THE ICE BEAM, GOT IT?

SAMUS activates her ice beam, cutting them all down in no time.

SAMUS
I'm so glad you have my best interests at heart, Daddy-poo!

SAMUS spends the next several hours slogging through lava, taking continual heat damage and getting generally thrashed.  At the very end of the lava biosphere, ADAM helpfully chimes in again.

ADAM
(over radio)
Hmm, ok...now that you're finally done with all the lava and fire, I'm now authorizing use of your Varia suit, which makes you immune to the constant heat damage and cuts all your damage by ridiculous amounts.  Come on, say it with me now...who's my bitch?!

SAMUS
I am!

INT. SECTOR 3 CORRIDOR

SAMUS continues her search for the lizard monster, eventually coming to a dead end with no way through but the use of her grappling hook.

SAMUS
Daddy-poo?

ADAM
....

SAMUS
Daddy, may I please use my grappling hook?

ADAM
(over radio)
Huh?  Oh, are you still here?  Uh, no, I got bored with the lizard thing...go to Sector 2 or something.  NO NEW GADGETS!

SAMUS
ADAM!!

SAMUS gleefully follows his orders and heads to Sector 2 for some random reason.

INT. SECTOR 2, FROZEN ICE AREA, THIS IS ONE GODDAMNED WEIRD SPACESHIP

After trekking through an icy tundra, SAMUS happens upon the assassinated corpse of one of the RANDOM TROOPERS that was part of her unit.  Surprisingly unaffected by this, she continues into a lab where she spots a blonde woman in a lab coat, a potential survivor.

INT. LABORATORY

SAMUS
Come here, miss!  It's not safe for a woman to be alone without a man looking after her.

WOMAN
...are you kidding me?

SAMUS finds out from the WOMAN that the assassinated MAN outside was killed by a fellow soldier.  At that moment, a giant SPACE TRACTOR breaks through, driven by a GALACTIC FEDERATION TROOPER.  After defeating it with absolutely no reaction from ADAM, SAMUS searches for the driver.  Both he and the woman are gone.

ADAM
(over radio)
Hey, remember how I was bored with that lizard thing?  Yeah, that passed...go back to Sector 3 and find it.  NO NEW ARMOR!

SAMUS
Daddy!

INT. ELEVATOR TO SECTOR 3

SAMUS has an incredibly long inner monologue, where she wonders if the woman she met was MADELINE BERGMAN, and thinks about who the traitor among them is.  Rather than just refer to them as TRAITOR or ASSASSIN, she decides to call him THE DELETER for dramatic purposes.  Pleased with her creativity, she continues into Sector 3.

INT. SECTOR 3 CORRIDOR

SAMUS gets lured into a trap by more of the cybernetic monsters, who encase her in a glass cage.  Their weapons easily pass through the walls into her, while hers bounce off harmlessly.

SAMUS
Uhh...so....I mean...I have this weapon here...that...umm...goes through walls....so maybe....maybe you can tell me I can use it?  Please?

ADAM
Huh?  Oh, sorry, I was eating my burrito, I totally didn't see you there.  Ok, yeah, sure, I guess you can use your Wave Beam.  Jesus, you're really demanding, you know that?

SAMUS
I'm sorry!

Wave Beam in hand, SAMUS quickly eradicates all the monsters since she can now shoot through walls.

SAMUS
Adam is so wonderful...and this totally wouldn't have been helpful before now, I can understand why he didn't let me use it earlier.

SAMUS eventually makes her way back to the grappling hook area.  ADAM reluctantly gives her permission to use the hook when they see ANTHONY is being devoured whole by a monster on the other side.  SAMUS grapples over, defeats the monster and saves ANTHONY.

She continues through SECTOR 3, coming across an empty petrified shell of the LIZARD CREATURE on the wall, which looks a whole lot like her arch-nemesis RIDLEY.  SAMUS happily bounds on.

INT. GEOTHERMAL POWER PLANT

Inside, SAMUS finds ANTHONY firing on the evolved LIZARD CREATURE, now very obviously RIDLEY.  Although she turns to attack, when she sees it's RIDLEY she freezes in horror, as if she hasn't fought more screwed up stuff than him on this ship.

ADAM
(over radio)
HEY!  ATTACK!!!

SAMUS' mental breakdown is clear, as she completely ignores the direct orders of a male.  RIDLEY grabs SAMUS, resulting in some nice cheesecake as her suit dissolves away.  ANTHONY fires his plasma cannon which frees her, but RIDLEY knocks him in the lava below.  SAMUS insantly overcomes her fear and defeats RIDLEY, who flies off.  In the ensuing silence, she notices ADAM's communication has been cut.

SAMUS
ADAM?!!  ADAM!?!?!?  DADDY-POO!!!!  HOW WILL I KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW?!?!

INT. MAIN SECTOR

Dejected, SAMUS heads back up to the main sector, and spots THE DELETER.  She follows him into SECTOR 1, where she comes across a broken bridge she cannot cross.

SAMUS
How am I going to cross this?  Adam isn't here to tell me to use my Space Jump ability....and I can't use it until he tells me.  I could pretend like he told me...but then he might be cross at me if he finds out I did something without his approval.  It's for a good cause, though, since this assassin is probably on his way to kill everyone....but if Adam really wanted me to do this, he would've told me earlier....

INT. SECTOR 1 BRIDGE, SEVERAL HOURS LATER

SAMUS
Maybe I could just keep jumping up and down and hope that I'll eventually make it up there....

THE DELETER
Oh for god's sake, will you just do it already?!

After much deliberation, SAMUS activates her SPACE JUMP, which allows her to essentially float on air indefinitely, to cross the broken bridge.

After chasing THE DELETER through several doors and corridors, SAMUS finally ends up in a closed off lab with the BLONDE WOMAN she saved earlier, who introduces herself as MADELINE BERGMAN.

MADELINE BERGMAN
Ok...ready for a a plot dump?  So this entire Bottle Ship is for bioweapons, which have all been developed alongside resurrecting Ridley and trying to create a race of cybernetic super-soldiers like the Space Pirates.  Also, we've been bringing back the Metroids and an AI for the Mother Brain named MB, making all your efforts in past games pretty pointless.  All the Metroids are in a super secret area named Sector Zero.  Oh, and Adam is the ringleader of all this evil stuff.  Probably.

SAMUS
Well, damn.  Ok, well, despite the fact that I chased a Galactic Federation assassin into this closed off room, you should stay here and wait for male help while I go to Sector Zero.  Actually, I think I'm going to just stop caring about the whole assasin subplot now, it's getting boring.

SAMUS leaves, leaving MADELINE to be attacked by THE DELETER.

INT. SECTOR ZERO

Once inside, SAMUS encounters a BABY METROID, floating cutely in the air.

SAMUS
BABY!!

Just as she is reaching out for it, SAMUS gets shot in the back, her suit disintegrating into nothing.  The camera angle thusly focuses exclusively on her ass for most of the future cutscenes.  The culprit then fires a freeze ray, which immobilizes the BABY METROID.  ADAM comes out of the shadows.

SAMUS
...Adam?

ADAM
It is I!

SAMUS
YOU FUCKING SHOT ME!

ADAM
Uh...yeah...well, I wanted to warn you that these Metroids aren't susceptible to cold.

SAMUS
SO YOU SHOT ME?!

ADAM
Well...I mean, it seemed like the best way to...uh...convey my warning...

SAMUS
YOU SHOT ME AND THEN FROZE THE GODDAMNED THING ANYWAY!

ADAM
Yeah, funny that, huh?  Wow.

SAMUS
You know what else?  I was told you were behind all this Metroid stuff too -- your name was all over the reports authorizing it!  How do you explain that?!

ADAM
Umm...I was...uhh...telling them....not to do it?

SAMUS
Oh.  Oh, ok, that makes sense.  So can you please tell me what to do now?  I can't go another minute making my own decisions, it's horrible.

ADAM
I'm going to eject Sector Zero from the Bottle Ship and force it to self destruct, eradicating all the Metroids.  I will go out in a wonderful blaze of glory, like a true man!  And you...uhh...you should go find survivors and kill Ridley again, I guess? I really don't know, nothing could be as bad ass as what I'm going to do, so I don't care.

SAMUS
But...you'll DIE!

ADAM
I'll live on in your heart, baby.

SAMUS weeps as ADAM blows himself and the METROIDS up.  Unsure of what to do with her life after completing ADAM's last order, she waits for her power suit to regenerate and moves on to find the final survivor.

INT. RESEARCH CENTER

SAMUS finds another dead body from her platoon, along with the devoured remains of RIDLEY.  She then locates the last survivor, who fearfully opens a door leading to a mass of METROID EGGS and a METROID QUEEN, who had eaten RIDLEY.

SAMUS
Wonderful.  How many times do I have to commit total genocide before it finally takes for good?

SAMUS defeats the METROID QUEEN and speaks with the survivor, who identifies herself as MADELINE BERGMAN, stating the previous MADELINE BERGMAN is a fake, and is the humanoid form of the MB artificial intelligence controlling all the monsters on the ship.

MADELINE BERGMAN
In keeping with characters who have my name -- plot dump!  MB was an AI that we constructed to control the Metroids, but it developed sentience when it attained a human form to better connect with the metroids.  Fearful of its independence, we tried to have it reprogrammed, but she broke away and declared war on all humans, screwing up our ship pretty bad.  Oh and look, here she is.

MB
DEATH TO HUMANS!

Out of nowhere, a storm of GALACTIC FEDERATION TROOPERS come aboard and freeze MB, who breaks free, and is then frozen again and shot to death.

COLONEL
HAHAH, good work all.  Looks like this is all taken care of now.  Samus, since everyone you know is dead, you should probably leave.

A MARINE comes to take her away, who reveals himself to be ANTHONY.

SAMUS
How did you survive?!

ANTHONY
No idea!  Really, I'm just here to buck the trend of killing off the token black guy.  Now come on, let's all go home.

SAMUS
But what about the hired assassin who could still be out ther--

ENDING CREDITS PLAY

 

EXT. SPACE

Afterwards, the GALACTIC FEDERATION decides to blow up the BOTTLE SHIP to kill all the monsters on it.  SAMUS returns to it before that happens to retrieve something incredibly valuable and irreplaceable.

INT. BOTTLE SHIP

SAMUS backtracks through the entirety of the ship to the main command console, where she finds ADAM's helmet.  She hugs it until the ship's self-destruct kicks in.  She flees in her ZERO SUIT to her ship which takes her to safety, with plans on marrying the helmet and doing whatever it tells her to.

END