Duke Nukem Forever Demo
<highlevelthoughtfulcrap>
Like everyone else who likes the Duke Nukem franchise, my love for it is because I grew up with it. I think Duke Nukem is something you only enjoy for nostalgia; while Duke Nukem 3D stood among the best gameplay-wise back in its time, games have grown since then, more than anyone can measure. So Duke Nukem Forever doesn't try to revolutionize anything or create an amazing gameplay experience, it tries to remind you of what all the better games are lacking: the history you have with Duke.
A friend of mine expressed surprise that I would actually like the Duke Nukem series, since it just doesn't seem like my kind of thing. Which is true, to an extent, except for two things. One, as I mentioned before, nostalgia. Two, it takes every opportunity to make fun of itself and everything around it and like it. I can forgive a lot of stuff if it has a good sense of humor, and that's something lacking in military shooters like Halo and Gears of War and Call of Duty.
The demo was released yesterday, and I played it for about 15 minutes. I died, horribly, and my overall opinion of the entire thing was incredibly negative. It sucked bad and I was just going to cancel my pre-order right then and there without even finishing it. I picked it up again today, determined to at least beat the demo before giving Duke the middle finger, and I came away a bit surprised. It still has a lot of sucky aspects, and there's no way in hell I'm spending $100 or even $60 on it, but on the second playthrough, there was a certain draw it had.
Many people have expressed their opinion of the demo by saying "My expectations were already realistically low, but damn this thing sucked", and I can understand that...but I think as much as they'd like to think their expectations were low, they actually weren't. Underneath it all, I think most everyone wanted this game to come out and surprise them, that the 12-year wait would actually be worth it, and even though it might look a little dated, there was a really amazing potential GOTY underneath it all. And there's no way it could have been that - it's impossible from something with about twenty developer studios and 12 years of botched work.
Playing the game the first time actually sets your expectations where they should be - rock bottom. Playing the second time, you aren't holding out hope for a great shining breakthrough moment, or a one-liner that will be as quotable as any line in Portal. And because of that, you start to see the good points in it a little more, because you've already experienced the bad.
That said, you should never ever ever feel that way about a game. I mean, you're spending $60, you shouldn't be saying "Well, the game was okay after I thought it was the most worthless piece of shit ever and I lost all hope in it". That's bad. But, Duke Nukem Forever is a unique case: it could never win. It had no chance, no hope, of ever trying to live up to any expectations anyone had of it, even the most modest ones. There was too much built up in it, for all parties, subconsciously and consciously.
</highlevelthoughtfulcrap>
Torchlight
In an effort to reduce my backlog, I was paging through all my XBLA games that I've yet to finish. Since this was alphabetical, Arkadian Warriors was one of the first I came to. I had fond memories of it (even though I only ever got to level 2), so I started it up. About ten minutes later I shut it down in disgust and started up Torchlight, which is what Arkadian Warriors wished it could be. Those missing ten minutes are best left undescribed.
Torchlight is, at its heart, a Diablo clone; which makes sense since it was made by the same developers. The great thing about this game is that I can do a full write up of it 1 floor into its 35-floor campaign, and my reaction would be exactly the same as if I finished the whole thing. Aside from slight aesthetic changes in the walls and new spells you get, there is no difference in the game as you play on.
This is what you do:
L.A. Noire
I didn't know I wanted L.A. Noire until exactly 8 1/2 hours before it came out. A couple weeks before that, I was subjected to the same 30-second ad for it (the DLC from Gamestop to be exact) for every video of Catherine I was trying to watch. After watching this ad for the fifth time, Alex and I both swore a blood oath we'd never buy it. Not just because forcing your users to sit through the same 30 second ad for each and every 3 minute clip is the worst way to advertise, but also because the facial textures were hideous.
I should rephrase that - the textures are not hideous. How they lay on the overly flat facial skeleton is. In addition, "His head is way too big for his body," Alex commented, "He looks like an alien baby." And it was true. It was painfully obvious that a lot of love and caring went into this, but that same love wasn't put into connecting it realistically to a body, or keeping the proportions right.
Portal 2
After writing this piece, I was pretty disgusted with how it was nothing but unadulterated praise and sunshine glee for Portal 2. So I decided to go back in and put in a negative depressing image for every positive thing I said.
Given that I've finished Portal 2 five times (4 on PC, 1 on Xbox), I'm not going to use a score chart, because it would just be 20 out of 10 the whole way. That's not to say there aren't any issues with the game, just that the strength of the atmosphere, gameplay, story, dialogue and characters overshadow any other problems.
Ar tonelico: Qoga Tips
As I was playing close to my 40th hour of Ar tonelico: Qoga, I realized I was pretty obsessed with the game. I also realized there's a lot of stuff they don't tell you how to do (or at least they don't tell you very well), so I thought I'd compile a list of tips I learned while playing. Some of this is obvious stuff, but hopefully it has something for everyone. Feel free to comment and add anything you like, and I'll update the post.
COMBAT OVERVIEW
Combat seems to be the most convoluted part of the entire game. The details are barely explained, and you're never told how everything fits together. Mix this with a poorly-explained Purge system and you have a lot of confusion. A quick basic overview: at the core, combat is about making sure your Reyvateil doesn't die. (Though it's only Game Over if all your characters die). She is not controllable, and stands in the back singing; your three main characters are meant to engage the enemy and keep them off her until she has enough Burst (the rapidly increasing percentage) to execute a Song Magic that will kill everyone.
When a monster gets inside the glowing circle your Reyvateil is in, she takes damage and stops singing - you can execute a Blowback with the Circle button which instantly knocks the enemy away, but is on a 5-ish second timer. You'll be doing this lots.
Now, that's the theory of combat. In the beginning of the game, you'll never get to use Song Magic because enemies die from your main characters beating the snot out of them too quickly. Later on, the only way to kill them is by using Song Magic.
Because you auto-move to the closest enemy when you hit the attack button and blocking is automatic, you really will be spending most of the time staring at that Harmograph during a battle. You do more damage when you time a strike with a vertically-high beat, but the extra damage is negligible especially if you just keep spamming the attack button, so it isn't worth waiting for only high beats. The most important thing to remember is the color of the beats. There are red and green beats; if you attack when your indicator is directly on a red beat, you'll get a "BEAT UP" message which makes the Reyvateil's heart grow. Why this matters is explained later, in the Purge section.
Ar tonelico: Qoga
Playtime: 6 hours (6 hours total)
I am completely obsessed with the Ar tonelico series. The first one hooked me on its style - part romance, part psychology, part music, part emotional catharsis, part dirty innuendo; it was such an incredible mix of everything I loved, and I'd never seen anything like it.
Then Ar tonelico 2 came out, and I was blown away. I was so taken in by this world and these characters that it became everything to me, and I set out to make a strategy guide for it. I played through the game about 6 times, detailing each and every item, talk topic, CG screen and Cosmosphere. Then I dropped it like a hot stone when I realized I couldn't do visual design worth a shit.
In the back of my mind, I thought I always remembered the series, but I was shocked when I got an e-mail about Ar tonelico: Qoga shipping, so in reality I had completely forgotten. And what I've played so far has been, while fun, nowhere near as good as the first two. While the world itself is still interesting, the main characters are not. Nor is the combat.
Dragon Age II
Playtime: 4.5 hours (4.5 hours total)
There's been a lot of heated debate on the internet about the disparity between official reviews of Dragon Age II (sitting at 8.4/10 as of this writing) versus user reviews (4.2/10). I don't really see how this is news-worthy, since there are critically-acclaimed films that flop commercially all the time, and I've yet to hear the public get up in arms about a giant film critic conspiracy. Also, the vast amount of negative user reviews seem to focus on the fact that 'Dragon Age II is not a role-playing game', which seems odd because although it's a very vague genre, it usually consists of the player taking on the role of a character (check) that they can customize (check), playing out that role, performing actions and choosing dialogue according to that character (check, check, check), lots of stats (check), a party (check) and too many items and equipment (check). If this isn't a role-playing game, I have no idea what is.
Now whether or not it's a good role-playing game is up for grabs, but the reviews never really seem to delve into that, they just tell Bioware to go back to making Baldur's Gate. What's funny is that Mass Effect 2, which went so far as to completely eliminate an inventory system (a relatively key component in any RPG), didn't get anywhere near this much of a backlash.
Metroid: Other M Script
CAST OF CHARACTERS
-
-
SAMUS ARAN
Bounty hunter extraordinaire and heroine of this game
-
-
BABY METROID
A baby that SAMUS is unnaturally fixated on. Usually accompanied by SAMUS’ medicated drawl of “BABY!!”
-
-
ADAM
Commanding officer of current platoon of GALACTIC FEDERATION TROOPS and SAMUS’ old CO. Total jerk.
-
-
ANTHONY
Member of the platoon working with SAMUS, under ADAM. Has a really big gun.
-
-
MB
An AI with an android body that was developed to control Metroids. Likes cute hairpins, long walks on the beach, and murdering all humans.
-
-
MADELINE BERGMAN
Head researcher for the illegal BIOWEAPONS plot on the BOTTLE SHIP.
-
-
SAMUS’ SHATTERED INDEPENDENCE
Never to be regained in this game.
INT. SPACE PIRATE HEADQUARTERS, PLANET ZEBES - DREAM
SAMUS ARAN, bad-ass bounty hunter, is fighting alongside a BABY METROID against the evil MOTHER BRAIN, recreating the end of a past Metroid game to prove the new developers at least read the Wikipedia article on it.
SAMUS
BABY!!
The BABY METROID sacrifices itself to a massive laser beam seemingly for no reason, since SAMUS has to kill MOTHER BRAIN just the same as if the BABY had hung out in a corner somewhere.
SAMUS
BABY!!
INT. GALACTIC FEDERATION HEADQUARTERS TRAINING ROOM
SAMUS awakens from the flashback in her Zero Suit, and proceeds to mope around whining about the goddamned BABY METROID in a weird and creepy way. We see a lot of camera angles that prove this is a TEAM NINJA game as she proceeds to deliver her mission report about destroying all the METROIDS in the universe. She then flies off in her helmet-shaped spaceship.
EXT. SPACE
SAMUS
BABY!!
While SAMUS is considering molding a cake to look like a Metroid and adopting it as her daughter, she receives a distress call, which she names BABY'S CRY because she has a serious mental sickness. She finds the source of the signal, the BOTTLE SHIP, and lands in it to investigate.
Update
My lack of updates have been fourfold:
- Entertaining company in real life. This happens once every 2-3 years, but it meant I couldn't continue Metroid: Other M, which is what I'm trying to finish for backlog and scripting purposes. The good news is that I have to have it done by next Tuesday, when Dragon Age II comes out. I also need to play the last 5 minutes of Trauma Team and actually finish it.
- Above-mentioned company also made me discover the pure joy of playing Minecraft on a dedicated server with close friends. I am the material-bitch, who spends all their time digging in mines so everyone else has enough cobblestone to build awesome things.
- RIFT. I cancelled my World of Warcraft account (sorry, Jacquelle), which doesn't say much because I've cancelled it about 10 times in the 2 years I've been on-and-off playing. Even so, RIFT has completely blown me away. I'll probably write something up on it in the future when I get a better grasp on things, but it's so fun. It's also not so much of a timesink; I'm not sure how they did it, but it always feels like you're doing something awesome, even if you can only play a couple hours at a time. In WoW, I would stare unmoving and unaware at the screen for 14 hours and then see that all I did was craft a pair of pants. In RIFT, during a couple hour session playing with my friend, we did a few entire quest threads, explored a mountain area, got a few artifacts, sealed 3 large Rifts and fought back a full-scale invasion of our hometown. It also links in to Twitter, so if you're so inclined to see all my picture updates (I try to only take interesting ones), you can check it out here.
- This has nothing to do with anything, but I haven't been so excited for any video game in recent memory as I have been for Catherine. Words cannot express how much I want to play this, and the fact that Atlus is actually releasing it in the US at the end of July brings me so much joy...I was expecting at least a late-year release, but I guess there's a lot less to translate in a 10 hour puzzle-game than a 200 hour RPG like Persona.
- Bonus - The fact that I can't listen to this while playing a game makes it hard to play anything, since that's all I've been doing.
Dragon Age 2 Demo
Playtime: 1 hour, single play-through
I bought Dragon Age: Origins on the PC, and had never before tried it on the 360 since there was no demo. I heard the controls were completely different - while the PC version had a special top-down tactical view, the 360 had more of a hybrid real-time strategy feel that didn't quite work. I have no idea if that was true, but I was really happy I could try both versions with the Dragon Age II demo.
First thing I found out -- I can't keep up with the cutting edge of gaming PC specs. I have a decent machine that plays pretty much anything and it choked hard on the demo, not to mention throwing up a horrible yellow screen in the intro until I turned on DX11 shaders. Even with the resolution lowered and the quality set down, it was still a bit shaky at times. No fault on the game itself, but definitely a point for the ease of the 360 version.
